When did you first realize that there was something you didn’t understand about the Catholic Church’s relationship to LGBT+ people?

Was it when a relative made a joke at the family dinner table, and everyone laughed (your mom frowned a little), but you felt uneasy, like something unkind had just happened?

Was it when you went to college and met Catholics whose ideas intrigued you, but when you asked them about your own feelings and future, their replies seemed shallow or disconnected from reality?

Was it during a school lesson on the sacraments, or browsing at a Catholic bookstore, in OCIA or at the sleepover where your best friend came out to you?

At BCF’s founding retreat, one of our biggest discoveries was that for almost everyone, the conversation about “gay and Catholic” starts out all wrong. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong goals, wrong message. And so before people really have a chance to discover the beauty and wisdom that the Church has to offer in this area, they’re already trapped in what feels like an irresolvable conflict between orientation and faith, honesty and obedience, personal experience and Church teaching—gay vs. Catholic.

BCF’s approach is shaped by our belief that we can prevent this conflict. We can start the conversation in the right places, at the right time, with the right goals, and with the right messages. Everything else about our work follows from these four points:

Start the conversation everywhere. 99% of the encounters that shape people’s ideas about how the Church sees gay people happen outside dedicated LGBT/SSA+ support and affinity groups. These encounters are happening in homes, parishes, schools, and more. So we equip Catholics in every ministry role (including parents!) to start the conversation about being gay and Catholic.

Start the conversation early. When the Church doesn’t start the conversation, secular culture gets to form people’s first and strongest impressions. So we equip Catholics to speak in age-appropriate ways, to share the teachings and stories that inspire gay people, and prepare young people for futures of faith.

Start the conversation before we all agree. People experience and interpret their own same-sex attractions in many different ways. So why should we expect there to be one “correct” view of gay ministry? BCF equips Catholics to identify insights—and distortions—in many different perspectives on LGBT/SSA+ topics.

Start the conversation with discipleship. It’s easy to assume that gay people need primarily justice, or primarily chastity. But gay seekers, like everyone else, come to the Church with many kinds of questions, needs, and hopes. BCF equips Catholics to start by helping seekers know, love, and follow Jesus.

We’ll be sharing more about Starting the Conversation on our Instagram. We’ll have testimonies about where the conversation started for people—and where they wish it had started. You can also share our four Start the Conversation principles with others who might be interested in this work!

And if you’re connected to Catholic education, don’t forget to email [email protected] if you want to join Eve for a webinar TODAY (Wednesday) at 8 pm Eastern time, sponsored by the Without Exception Network, on starting the conversation in Catholic schools! Whether your school already accepts all of these principles or none of them, you’ll come away with new ideas for how you can change the conversation—and build futures of faith for our youth.